Sometimes I have a split second where I think to myself, “why are we doing this? It’s going to be super hard and we may not even get to adopt. Then, if that happens, we will be years down the line without any kids and back where we started. We could just have our own (in theory) and just have a normal family and be done with it.”
It’s a logical thought. Being foster parents doesn’t really make much sense on paper. But I also don’t want people to see us as some kind of martyrs. I don’t want to feel like “oh we’re such good people to take in poor troubled youth even when we don’t have to — everyone else is selfish and we are awesome.” That’s a terrible thing to think, but when people say things like “you guys are so brave” or “y’all are my heroes,” (which they are SO NICE to say and so sweet) I’m not going to lie, it starts to creep in.
This video strips away all of that. The fear, and the false-martyrdom.
We watched it in our PATH (Parents As Tender Healers, a.k.a. foster care training) class this week, and it wrecked me. (They had the nerve to show it to us at THE BEGINNING of class, and then TURN THE LIGHTS ON, where there was a panel of people waiting to tell us about how foster care works facing us — we sit on the front row because nerd alert — where we could NOT hide the fact that we were on the verge of melting into a puddle. I mean really. The gall.)
I had to suck it up and be an attentive student but you better believe I wanted to just go bawl in the bathroom for a hot second. And maybe eat my feelings in M&Ms.
Showing you this is not to make you feel guilty or sad or just so you’ll share it on social media. But it stirred such a powerful reaction in us, and according to the panel/teachers, it’s so close to reality, that we felt like it would help others understand the importance of foster care and why, after every class, we feel more and more called to it (even if we simultaneously feel freaked out).
So watch the video below if you want (or not, if you don’t, we don’t want to be responsible for you being emotionally compromised at work when you should be like making excel sheets or whatever), to see why these kiddos need some love, and most of all, someone to stay when everyone else leaves.
P.S. We haven’t watched Part II because a) we were in class and b) we were already having All The Feelings about Part I, but I’m sure you could find it on YouTube.