The Daddy Conundrum

This week we hit the 3 month mark of having #Dubs and #BabyP with us. We've settled in a new normal, or as normal as foster care can be, and these girls have started to feel like family.

This week we hit the 3 month mark of having #Dubs and #BabyP with us. We've settled in a new normal, or as normal as foster care can be, and these girls have started to feel like family.

But that's the strange thing. They're not really our family. They have a real family. Of course we treat them like family while they're with us, but it also leads to the question of what do they call us?

When the girls first came to us in February, we tried to have them call us "Craig and Lala"1. But as Laura started to fulfill the role of Mom to Dubs, we started hearing Mommy from her.

We've always taken the stance with foster kids that if they want to call us Mommy and Daddy, we let them, but we don't encourage it. But what happens when she calls Laura Mommy but she doesn't have a category for Daddy? We felt like she needed something to call me, but she wasn't latching on to Craig.

Every once in awhile I would let a Daddy slip out while playing with her...and it felt foreign.

Laura and I had several conversations about what Dubs could call me and nothing felt right until one night when I was playing with Baby P. As Laura mentioned in her last post, we're starting to hear P using some real sounds in her babbling, and I'm working hard to get her to say Dada. I was repeating this to P when Dubs walked up, pointed at me, and said Dada. Laura and I looked at each other and knew we had our answer.

So I'm Dada now. I'm not her father, but I have an affectionate nickname. Even better, she knows who you're talking about when you say "Go take this to Dada." She still doesn't use it like she does Mommy, but I like finally having a name.

  1. I wish there was a fun nickname for Craig, unfortunately the best we have is Cray Cray...and no. ↩︎